Friday, August 3, 2012
Inner World -- Outer World
My family and friends are astounded -- and some are envious -- that a woman my age could need/want/use so much sleep.
But to me, being able to sleep until I wake up, and then slowly come into the physical world, is the greatest luxury I have.
When it happens without inteference from the cat, the phone, some unusual noise (from the outside or the inside), it feels -- well like this image to the right.
I try to stay in touch with that feeling, but the outer world has a way of dimming it.
Today, as I go to play in the ACBL bridge tournament we are having in Tuscaloosa this weekend, I'm going to try holding the image of this little light and the latice work behind it in my mind.
Then we'll see what effect it has on my outer world. It's not that I don't enjoy/appreciate my outer world. I do. And every day I look forward to being with the people I love, doing the things I'm fond of, etc. But somehow, my inner world shines with a luminescence that is missing in the outer world.
Somehow I feel if I could hold on to that luminescence, I could tinge my experiences in the outer world with it. Superimpose on them, even the most ordinary of them, a numinous quality.
That's it. Just as I use the photo software, picmonkey, to add various filters to sometimes nondescript photos, I can allow the inner world to filter my experiences of the outer world -- and they become numinous.
(numinous -- mysterious, holy, appealing to the higher emotions or aesthetic sense)